Wednesday, January 24, 2007
more truth about David Hasselhoff
In addition to the facks I turned up in April last year, intensive research has gathered these gems!
* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for The Hoff.
* The Hoff counted to infinity - twice.
* The Hoff hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
* The Hoff gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* The Hoff can slam a revolving door.
* Some kids piss their name in the snow. The Hoff can piss his name into concrete.
* The Hoff once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
* The Hoff's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools The Hoff.
* The Hoff can speak Braille.
* The Hoff's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
* Superman owns a pair of The Hoff pyjamas.
* The Hoff owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
* The Hoff sleeps with a night light. Not because The Hoff is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of The Hoff.
* The Hoff doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
* Once a cobra bit The Hoff's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
* The Hoff is always on top during s*x because The Hoff never f***s up.
* When The Hoff exercises, the machine gets stronger.
* The Hoff doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
* The Hoff sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled fighting ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Mike roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
* The Hoff can kill two stones with one bird.
* The Hoff once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil.
* The Hoff once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression "Sh***ing bricks" wasn't just a figure of speech.
* The only time The Hoff was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for The Hoff.
* The Hoff counted to infinity - twice.
* The Hoff hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
* The Hoff gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* The Hoff can slam a revolving door.
* Some kids piss their name in the snow. The Hoff can piss his name into concrete.
* The Hoff once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
* The Hoff's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools The Hoff.
* The Hoff can speak Braille.
* The Hoff's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
* Superman owns a pair of The Hoff pyjamas.
* The Hoff owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
* The Hoff sleeps with a night light. Not because The Hoff is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of The Hoff.
* The Hoff doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
* Once a cobra bit The Hoff's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
* The Hoff is always on top during s*x because The Hoff never f***s up.
* When The Hoff exercises, the machine gets stronger.
* The Hoff doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
* The Hoff sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled fighting ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Mike roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
* The Hoff can kill two stones with one bird.
* The Hoff once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil.
* The Hoff once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression "Sh***ing bricks" wasn't just a figure of speech.
* The only time The Hoff was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
